listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
