Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
