Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
