She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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