remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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