garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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