So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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