so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize