I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
