Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
