i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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