it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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