That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
