She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have already put on my inside pants.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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