4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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