I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize