Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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