we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
