lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
