how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
