What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
