New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
