Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize