ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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