How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
