I wish I could teleport
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
