We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
