you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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