I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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