Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
