he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
