Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
