his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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