How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
