...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
