So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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