im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
