If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
