You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
