Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize