Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
