I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
