I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i was born a porn star she said
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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