look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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