Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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