i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
