Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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