Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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