No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
