that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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