wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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