Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
