Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
