forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
