Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
