My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
