The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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