I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
