I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
