I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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