Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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