did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
